Between a Breakdown and a Breakthrough

The messy middle, where transformation quietly begins

Unlike other summers, this July took a particular turn. The breeze felt heavier, pushing me toward a reality check... about where I am, where I want to go, and whether the choices I’m making are leading me toward the person I want to become.

All these questions led to some important decisions and, admittedly, a creative block. When you’re caught in a storm, all you have are your basic instincts to survive. And while these kinds of experiences often lead to a much deeper creative flow, today I want to focus specifically on the storm itself. On how to create in chaos.

Whether you consider yourself a creative person or not, here are some things that have helped me find balance when everything feels off: 

1. When the voices in your head are too many, and too loud

You’ll eventually hit a point where the noise inside becomes unbearable, whether it’s a decision weighing on you or a person or place you're trying to move on from. The question is: how do you quiet it? “Simply” by stopping. The second you make space for silence - real silence - is the moment the voices stop screaming. Ironically, we tend to run away from quiet. But it’s exactly in that stillness that we can start to feel where our body, heart, and intuition are trying to guide us.

2. When life feels like Groundhog Day

One of the most frustrating parts of being stuck is the feeling of living the same day over and over again. If you’re aware of it, though, that’s already a good sign, because that awareness often signals that a breakthrough is coming. Discomfort pushes you to change.

What helps? Doing something you haven’t done before.
Try a new sport class. A painting lesson. Go out by yourself and talk to someone you’ve never met. Even book a trip alone. I can’t stress this enough, it’s so important for your confidence and self-worth. The more you throw yourself into little uncomfortable situations, the more you realise: other people are going through stuff too. You’re not alone. And every time you try something new, you soften that cage you’ve built for yourself, the one that says you have to be perfect before you show up. Your hardest critic is usually the one in your head. And it often shows through your behaviour, and the way you judge yourself and others. Newness interrupts it.

3. When your triggers ruin meaningful moments

As someone living abroad, I’ve noticed how different I become when I’m back home with the people I love. Like many of us, when you leave home, you start living two lives: the independent, self-reliant version of you in your chosen city, and the one that returns to the place that shaped you. At first, you might think life at home hits pause when you’re gone. But eventually, you realize it doesn’t, people change, and so do you. The person who left is never quite the same as the one who returns. That shift is beautiful and painful at once, for both sides. In the short time we get with our loved ones, it’s easy to bring the weight of our problems with us. And sometimes, those few precious days get overshadowed by unresolved emotions. What helps me is remembering to do an emotional check-in. To remind myself: I’m not just there to be held, I’m also there to give.

We seriously underestimate how much our presence means to others. Living abroad can be isolating, and while that builds independence, it also makes us forget what it’s like to be part of a community, where we’re not expected to play every role perfectly, just one.

4. When seeking ideas feels like a highly demanding corporate job

It’s absolutely normal to feel creatively blocked every now and then. But when your work depends on a constant flow of ideas, it can become a frustrating pressure. And the more you push, the more inspiration slips away. That’s usually the moment curiosity kicks in, if you allow it. In my experience, creativity doesn’t come from obsessing over a single subject or forcing yourself into deep research. It shows up when you’re relaxed, present, and open to exploration. We live in a society built on discipline, deadlines, and the glorification of struggle, so being a creative can feel strange, even wrong, because your best work often comes from play. Whether you’re writing, designing, or daydreaming, real inspiration finds you when you’re living: visiting an exhibition, reading a book, walking through a new city, or having an honest conversation with a friend. In other words: when you feed yourself first.

Survival kit for when you’re one thought away from a meltdown

Book: The Creative Act by Rick Rubin: whether you’re an artist or not, this book reminds you that simply living is a form of art.

Film: Frances Ha: for anyone feeling lost or unsure of their purpose. A comforting reminder that being in the in-between is part of the magic.

Podcast: The Diary of a CEO: inspiring on so many levels. Each episode explores a different topic, but the way Steven Bartlett leads the conversation always leaves you with real, tangible tools to reflect on. Listen on your favorite platform.

Song: You Can’t Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones: ironic, raw, and honestly a little healing. Helps me accept the moment I’m in, whether I’m singing along, laughing, or crying.


And as always, when things get a little more personal around here, I want you in. So tell me what’s in your own survival kit? What helps you push through when things feel stuck, strange, or overwhelming?
Send me your answers, and just like last time, I’ll be sharing them on
@paulasparadiso IG stories.
Let’s help each other grow a little toolkit… one weird, beautiful skill at a time.

Next
Next

Playing with All Senses